


Rebirth, yes no maybe so

by Change_the_make_a_dreamer



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Crack, Rebirth, Tags are stress consuming, why
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-06
Updated: 2018-04-06
Packaged: 2019-04-19 06:20:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14231169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Change_the_make_a_dreamer/pseuds/Change_the_make_a_dreamer
Summary: You know that lady luck isn’t on your side when you die while reading a Harry Potter rebirth fic...and get reborn into the Harry Potter universe





	Rebirth, yes no maybe so

Brevity is the soul of whit, but your content has to be at least 10 characters long

You know that lady luck isn’t on your side when you die while reading a Harry Potter rebirth fic...and get reborn into the Harry Potter universe.  
It all happened...A minute ago. I was calmly rereading Harry Potter and the Shadowed light,  
when I started to write down a “prophecy” that came in my mind.  
The dreamers  
The takers  
The taker of dreams  
But all is not what it seems  
The chosen one  
Will save us all  
The horrid one  
Will bring our fall  
Dark is dark  
Light is light  
Except to the Grey who rule the night  
Fire glows  
The witcher stands  
‘Pause’  
Surely fall comes to those who say they are good  
But are truly bad

But as soon as I had written it down on my notebook next to me, everything went black  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
I opened my eyes to see my room, which looked the same, and I looked out the window. There was a sign there, which said...Privet drive? Am I in a fanfiction, self-insert fic? I attempted to yell at the fourth wall, but then I realised that even if I was in a fanfiction there was no way to contact anyone. I checked, my computer. 2018. Did I really go back to the time of Harry Potter? I could be hallucinating. I start looking around the house, calling for my parents and siblings. Nothing. I feel a bit nervous about child services, and how they will react to my parents lessness and genderfluid wardrobe.   
I look around the house, trying to find if whoever brought me here left a book of instructions, kind of like Ripples by therealnarnia. Success! On top of my table(how could I miss that) is a thick notebook, one that looks like my diary back in fifth grade. I flip it open to the first page, where it says, “Congratulations! You are part of the rebirth program! Flip to the next page for a brief overview of what is happening!” I flipped to the next page, where it said, “The Rebirth program is a program where many different teenagers(like you) are inserted into a different world to see how much you can change it!   
Instructions  
Save as many people as possible  
Make as many friends as possible  
Learn from your mistakes  
Be as BAFM as possible  
If being an enigma is possible, do it  
Mess with people minds   
Drive the evil children insane  
The world is your oyster  
Begin!  
The book disappeared in a flurry of light, and in its place a hologram appeared.  
“Remember to stay strong, and remember the plot twist and write them down!”  
Darkness  
Chapter 2  
I am currently a baby on the doorstep of the Dursleys house. The night is cold. Its official. I hate Dumbledore. I’m pretty sure that I’m in a Dumbledore bashing fic. Can I still speak?

“H-hewwo? Neiwbor? I nweed sowm hewlp?” Why do I sound like the owo extension? I try again. “HELP! NEIGHBOR, I DON’T WANNA LIVE WITH THE DURSLEYS.” The night is silent for a while, then a woman rushes over, scoops up my basket, and races into a house. 

“Siriosly child, you lasted for less then 30 seconds. Why act weird when still a child?”  
“I don’t want to live the the Dursleys. Duh.” The woman sighed in annoyance.

“Dumbledore put blood wards around this house. Of course, they won’t work unless the Dursleys love you, which is unlikely to happen. Anyway, I’m part of the Rebirth program, and have come to give you updates about yourself. You, my child, can shapeshift into the form of Harry Potter and your past self. I have been made aware that you are genderfluid. Also, be aware that your past self will stop growing at the age of 14, and you will stay that way until you finish this life. Once you finish this life, you will return to your past life at the same time you were taken. Good luck, and may magic be with you.” 

The woman disappeared, and I saw felt myself on the cold porch of the Dursleys, once again. 

I did not want to be abused as Harry Potter in this life, so I closed my eyes and thought of myself, and my old body. Success. My white skin turned brown, and I looked asian again. 

The note on my basket changed from Its your nephew, Harry, to I have abandoned my child because I am about to die and the orphanage here is bad. The door opened (what took so long) and out came Petunia Dursley. 

She cooed at me and said, “It’s the beautiful baby girl I’ve been wanting!” and read the note. She looked very happy, even though the note was really depressing, and bought my basket inside. “What is it Petunia?” Hollered Vernon Dursley.   
She yelled, “I got the baby girl I asked for on Christmas!” I felt like facepalming. At least they liked me.

Time skip...Age 7  
I finally got my degree in Astrophysics, and am currently watching the send off to a man on Mars. 

Turns out the knowledge of the future is helpful, and is helping in many ways. Racism is no longer there, and Auntie and Uncle didn’t bat an eye when I was caught in my Harry Potter body.   
They totally support me being genderfluid, actually, and the world peace treaty is being established next month. It turns out, all the muggles here are idealists, and making advancements are second nature to them. I wonder why JK Rowling never mentioned this in the books…

PS. I helped the Dursleys unlock their magic! Petunia is the nicest aunt, and Uncle Vernon is pretty cool. He is a world peace politician. 

 

 

This sucks. 

But as soon as I had written it down on my notebook next to me, everything went black  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
I wake up, inside of a stair cupboard.   
Oh god. I didn’t actually want to be reborn into the Harry Potter universe

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what I'm doing


End file.
